Astrum, Lucia "Lucy" Oriens

[Lucia Astrum]

Thanks for your time. Good bye.

[Lucia Astrum]

Sorry about wasting your time with graphics and edits Maya.

[Darake Kitoushi [Old]]

Whew, this is a very long review. Please don't take any of this negatively however, most of these are small tweaks or just clarification.

• A 10 in agility wouldn't really be just barely falling into below average, that is it on the dot.

• If your okay with 25 in your intelligence, more power to you, but saying she spends most of her time on scientific pursuits, your stats imply you spend an equal amount of time on endurance. Also consider another arrancar scientist could come along with 30 in the stat, which wouldn't necessarily mean they are better, but they would have a shot at it.

• The attribute of concentration is not actual character trait of concentration. It is your ability to resist bindings as well as the amount of abilities and techniques you can use before becoming exhausted. Think mana bar.

• Basing your character off Satan, the absolute greatest deceiver and tempter, the second definition for tempter even being the devil, shouldn't you have no less than 30 in charisma? Seems like they should be able to talk their way out of anything or convince someone of just about anything. I think this would be a much more important attribute to emphasize rather than intelligence considering your source material. Then there is the matter that he leads hells armies, so shouldn't he have a great leadership as well? People literally would follow her into hell no?

• I think that perhaps you should play up her beauty more, seeing as Satan was supposed to be the most beautiful of angels and whatnot.

• It is required that the Espada wear their uniform most of the time, though having your own set could be used for time not in combat or around other Espada.

• Having the hollow hole on the tongue is a cool idea, but I'm not sure they can be so small. Perhaps I don't understand, but how would that give it a forked appearance as it has to be a complete circle.

• With what does she pay off others with? With the tribal culture of the arranar, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't use currency. Even if they do I would imagine most arrancar care not for such things.

• Are those abilities you first have listed sealed? If so then they should be before the zanpakutou picture. As well, we can only allow one of them as we have seen in canon, even then they are very rare to find even among the espada. I need to discuss this with the other staff, but I'm not entirely sure were allowing them for those below 4th as I don't believe we've seen anyone below that with one short of Aaroniero's very special situation, having been made by Aizen.

• You mention the use of regeneracion, which is something that itself needs to be listed under ones abilities. It needs to be noted as Ulquilliora said, it is very rare as most arrancar gave it up upon evolving. It comes at a steep price of other abilities as well. Also notably it can only be used while released because of the return to hollow-like form. Even then it would likely need to either be very slow or only for a very specific body part.

• Explosión and Munición just seem very random here, they don't follow any sort of theme, rhyme, or reason for your character having them.

• An agility of 10 doesn't come even close to approaching what would be needed for an ability like Alas. Your techniques need to be represented in your stats as well, they aren't there to make up for weaknesses. Also I'm not sure why this is classified as offensive, sounds like an augment to me as it enhances you in some way.

• It sounds like you plan on using Explosión or Alas defensively, but so long as a technique isn't under that label, it must be exceedingly bad at doing so. Yes it can be done as you said, just very bad at it.

• The release is... odd. I'm not sure how the other staff would feel about a revolver being the sealed weapon. Additionally there is the fact that your 3000 years old and that is a rather modern weapon by comparison. Perhaps if it looked nothing like one it would work. It somewhat just seems a really odd choice for your character and we kinda expect the sealed to correspond to the culture your from. Why not a weapon from a biblical time period like a Khopesh?

• Aren't all arrancar releases one word? I could be very wrong, but I don't recall any longer than that.

• Not entirely sure if the two handguns in release would be possible, considering the likes of Stark who had his fraccion change into the other. Specially when we throw the shield into the equation. Again the shield and handguns just seem extremely random and just tacked on to the character. Or perhaps it is the other way around because your resurrection essentially in now way other than the snakeskin resembles the god your based on. Nor does it really fit a scientist. As well, it seems far to humanoid for a decimo who should have the most animalistic appearance of the Espada. When I saw it was called tree of knowledge I was all ready for something very interesting and based off Lucifer, instead I got nothing.

• I do not know how we could possibly accept Distorsión, it essentially makes many characters entirely useless. Not at all fun for those members and that we absolutely cannot allow. It needs some sort of serious drawback and conditions attached to it and an ability anywhere near this potent would require a 30 in defense.

• The decimo should not be a vastro lorde, were saving those for 1-4 ranks. I'm not sure how the other staff feel, but I would imagine that perhaps you should be a gillian or adjuncha. Naturally making this change would make the eating arrancar in your history very unusual. Also this would mean adding some of the signature white carapace to your release.

• I would imagine that your fight for decimo position would be something worthy of note.

• As a final note, a character being an inventor can cause a bit of difficultly. It just means that you'll need to run anything you make by us or use the technique forum to apply for them. We must be very careful with them as they are essentially techniques that anyone may use. Also there is the fact we have to sort of loosely adhere to the kind of technology we see in the canon. Anything significant that you use yourself will need to be added to your application.

Just want to say that I absolutely love the idea for the building and structures you've made, progressing throughout history the further away from the center it gets.

[Lucia Astrum]

Clearly I should just never ask anyone other than you questions. I passed a lot of these things by Maya before hand and she okayed many things or at least gave me no indication it would be a problem, particularly the vasto-lorde crap because I didn’t want to have to write history I’d have to rewrite or get rid of. I’d really appreciate a clear understanding on WHO to ask for advice though because all of you seem to keep giving me the runaround. “Well I’ll have to ask Maya” or “I’ll have to ask Kitoushi” or “I’ll talk to Protoss and Kitoushi” and it seems kind of like you don’t really have a clear mutual understanding on what’s what.

And I know you asked me not to take it negatively but you’re basically telling me I wasted my time on portions that took me like two or three hours to write and now I either need to redo it or delete most of my effort when these were all things I tried to clarify with one of you before-hand.

And in what world are these small tweaks? You’re basically telling me to rewrite my character.


• A 10 in agility wouldn't really be just barely falling into below average, that is it on the dot.

^I didn’t really thing the wording was that big a deal but whatever. I assumed 5-10 was REALLY below average and 11-15 was around average. I deleted it.


• If your okay with 25 in your intelligence, more power to you, but saying she spends most of her time on scientific pursuits, your stats imply you spend an equal amount of time on endurance. Also consider another arrancar scientist could come along with 30 in the stat, which wouldn't necessarily mean they are better, but they would have a shot at it.

^I’m not sure why it would matter if they’re “better”? You seemed to indicate time and time again that stat numbers do not always indicate superiority in that field. And is there a problem if she spends an equal time on endurance?

• The attribute of concentration is not actual character trait of concentration. It is your ability to resist bindings as well as the amount of abilities and techniques you can use before becoming exhausted. Think mana bar.

^It seemed to indicate that Endurance was more along the lines of your reishi amount or stamina or something. Not to mention that the characters in the manga with the highest levels of reishi count seemed to be the most durable characters (Kenpachi for example)?

• Basing your character off Satan, the absolute greatest deceiver and tempter, the second definition for tempter even being the devil, shouldn't you have no less than 30 in charisma? Seems like they should be able to talk their way out of anything or convince someone of just about anything. I think this would be a much more important attribute to emphasize rather than intelligence considering your source material. Then there is the matter that he leads hells armies, so shouldn't he have a great leadership as well? People literally would follow her into hell no?

^No? I didn’t want her to be exactly like Satan and I wanted her to have some flaws. You’re saying that because I chose a certain myth type I have to focus mostly on personality based attributes that, overall, would be fairly useless to me? I decided more to play up the whole temptress thing and say that she has a rag-tag team of people who hate each other. I figured THAT lined up more with the whole Satan dynamic considering all of the imagery associated with Satan’s lackeys being like “eloelz so yeah I want to lead the group,” which would in turn imply a lack of charisma. Not to mention that it’s very difficult to RP a character who somehow specializes in an abstract characteristic like Charisma. Whether or not a character’s charismatic depends more on how well you write the character, not because “her app says she is.” You can’t just write “Yo, get in the van,” and expect people to follow along just because your charisma stat is 30, but if you (the author) don’t know a politer/more charismatic way to tell someone to get in the van then all of those points in charisma aren’t going to matter. I put 20 points in there to nod at the fact she’s more charismatic than normal, but it didn’t seem worth putting thirty points in it when those would be better spent where I wanted them.

I wanted some of this to be MY character. Not just the character you told me to make because we had differing theological ideas or because it wasn’t “quite” what you had in mind.

• I think that perhaps you should play up her beauty more, seeing as Satan was supposed to be the most beautiful of angels and whatnot.

How would I do that exactly? “She was so beautiful.” Crowd: “HOW BEAUTIFUL WAS SHE?” I’m not sure how I could do that without sounding ridiculous and devoting a paragraph to how attractive she was.

• It is required that the Espada wear their uniform most of the time, though having your own set could be used for time not in combat or around other Espada.

^See I was under the impression that each espada was supposed to reflect their own associated culture and couldn’t have anything about them that was otherwise culturally out of place. This would mean that there was NO standard arrancar uniform because ancient Egyptians probably wouldn’t be wearing long flowing robes like the arrancar in the manga wore anymore than some Norse God would. I mean if I’m wrong about this I’d really appreciate a thread telling me exactly what I’m supposed to do about things like this that are apparently that important. (Ie, a thread about this site’s arrancar culture).

• Having the hollow hole on the tongue is a cool idea, but I'm not sure they can be so small. Perhaps I don't understand, but how would that give it a forked appearance as it has to be a complete circle.

^I said it gave a slightly forked appearance. Not that it was entirely forked. If it were in the center it would leave the tongue with two separate tips. Someone had a hollow hole small enough to be covered by an eye-patch, I didn’t really think it was that big a deal but if you want me to remove that note and move it elsewhere I suppose I can.

• With what does she pay off others with? With the tribal culture of the arranar, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't use currency. Even if they do I would imagine most arrancar care not for such things.

^ I figured useful devices, perhaps some sort of modification done to them to give them some new feature or more power as a payoff. Perhaps she feeds some of her “sacrifices” to some of her more satisfactory minions or whatever?

• Are those abilities you first have listed sealed? If so then they should be before the zanpakutou picture. As well, we can only allow one of them as we have seen in canon, even then they are very rare to find even among the espada. I need to discuss this with the other staff, but I'm not entirely sure were allowing them for those below 4th as I don't believe we've seen anyone below that with one short of Aaroniero's very special situation, having been made by Aizen.
^Maya edited the zan picture in for me, but I’ll fix it. The sealed abilities were just small functions that weren’t powerful enough to be release abilities. And what? Most arrancar had sealed abilities and even the ones that were considerably weak had them (child-form Nel for example and her healing slobber). Besides, couldn’t I just pass some of these off as functions my character invented or modified herself into having? You mentioned science being used to invent things earlier that I would have to then pass by one of you so it sounds like that would be a valid reason for these things. Even if it wasn’t exactly like in canon you have a stark contrast of power in favor for the shinigami as compared to the arrancar when it comes to things like this. Shinigami get kidou 1-90 just for having 25 points in the right stat and as a captain they get access to 1-30 or so just for having five. That means the average captain simply has more abilities than every arrancar ever, including highest ranking Espada.

• You mention the use of regeneracion, which is something that itself needs to be listed under ones abilities. It needs to be noted as Ulquilliora said, it is very rare as most arrancar gave it up upon evolving. It comes at a steep price of other abilities as well. Also notably it can only be used while released because of the return to hollow-like form. Even then it would likely need to either be very slow or only for a very specific body part.

^The regeneracion thing was something I was unsure of. On one site it was listed as a standard technique but here it wasn’t mentioned or explained at all. Most of the arrancar abilities weren’t either for that matter. I didn’t know where to go with it.

• Explosión and Munición just seem very random here, they don't follow any sort of theme, rhyme, or reason for your character having them.

^Municion was just because I didn’t know if it was fair for my character to have bullets in as part of her zan’s appearance, I put them in there because I assumed it would need to be a separate ability of its own. Explosion I figured could have been related to the whole revolver/conflict theme. If you want I could name them something ridiculously thematic to Satan like “Firing Lies” or “Hellfire” or something.

• An agility of 10 doesn't come even close to approaching what would be needed for an ability like Alas. Your techniques need to be represented in your stats as well, they aren't there to make up for weaknesses. Also I'm not sure why this is classified as offensive, sounds like an augment to me as it enhances you in some way.

^It doesn’t? Sounds like giving up Sonido for a slower ability gives you and every other person out there with shunpo or sonido (which is basically everyone) a pretty big advantage in the line of speed especially since shunpo and sonido in themselves basically mitigate any sort of speed based weaknesses and they’re both standard techniques for basically everyone. Hell it basically renders the whole speed stat totally pointless because I mean even if one person’s shunpo is slower than another’s does it really make a difference? “Oh well pfft my shunpo goes at 600 miles per second” “YEAH?! MINE GOES AT 900 MILES PER SECOND! YOU LOSE!” What difference does it make? I mean really? Not to mention most of the abilities you allowed on your site that were pretty overpowered came with the notation that “IT COULD BE DODGED WITH A SONIDO OR SHUNPO” and pretty much nothing else. And if you want examples: that girl with the tornado and that dude with the flaming tornado/skin-irritant-that-blinds-you-for-most-of-a-fight-because-its-effects-last-ten-minutes.

It was classified as offensive because it generated heat and I was confused about what to do with that exactly. You know I was thinking the whole “Jet engine” type thing except much slower. Plus I was thinking it could potentially be used to push people away which would, in turn, not classify it as a utility. I mean I guess it would qualify as augmentation if I removed the heat? But it sounds like you’re not going to allow it anyway.

• It sounds like you plan on using Explosión or Alas defensively, but so long as a technique isn't under that label, it must be exceedingly bad at doing so. Yes it can be done as you said, just very bad at it.

^Uh… okay? You basically said I can’t have them so why are we still talking about them?

• The release is... odd. I'm not sure how the other staff would feel about a revolver being the sealed weapon. Additionally there is the fact that your 3000 years old and that is a rather modern weapon by comparison. Perhaps if it looked nothing like one it would work. It somewhat just seems a really odd choice for your character and we kinda expect the sealed to correspond to the culture your from. Why not a weapon from a biblical time period like a Khopesh?

^Again it was supposed to be reflective of the cultures my character was worshipped in or whatever which basically includes ancient Hebrew to modern day America/western world. I already spoke to Maya about this and she gave me no indication there would be any problem with it, in fact she seemed to like the idea. I was also told that “No I didn’t have to force my character into the oldest known culture they were part of.” I went with a revolver to fit with the intellectual end of thing, plus I mean hell you had a guy in the manga who was probably several hundred years old who had a revolver and his sealed zan was somehow in the shape of an entire other person and yet a revolver is somehow too much of a stretch for me?

• Aren't all arrancar releases one word? I could be very wrong, but I don't recall any longer than that.

^The app template never said anything about that and I had no clue what to put into it. Not to mention I saw shinigami releases that were two or more words so I mean I can change that I guess?

• Not entirely sure if the two handguns in release would be possible, considering the likes of Stark who had his fraccion change into the other. Specially when we throw the shield into the equation. Again the shield and handguns just seem extremely random and just tacked on to the character. Or perhaps it is the other way around because your resurrection essentially in now way other than the snakeskin resembles the god your based on. Nor does it really fit a scientist. As well, it seems far to humanoid for a decimo who should have the most animalistic appearance of the Espada. When I saw it was called tree of knowledge I was all ready for something very interesting and based off Lucifer, instead I got nothing.

^There’s nothing saying it ISN’T possible considering we have people like Ikakku with a tri-wield bankai, is there? Again the shield was supposed to be a nod to medieval/modern culture (tower/riot/ballistics shield). I was throwing nods to Satan left and right through personality, history, etc. etc. I didn’t know what to name it, not to mention arrancar releases are relatively unimpressive in the first place given that most of them only get crap like “Claws” or weapons or whatever. Again this sounds like you saying “Your idea of a satan-esque character doesn’t sound quite like what I had in mind.”

As for the decimo thing. Maya said last night that there wasn’t really any difference between numbers 2-10 and you can ask Shinji to confirm this for you if you have to. And even before that I asked Maya if I could have a Vasto Lorde arrancar who simply chose the decimo position because I figured it would fit with the whole deceptively underwhelming Satan thing. “Pfft yeah look at me I’m so helplesssz eloelz,” said Lucy as she stabs them when they turn their back.

• I do not know how we could possibly accept Distorsión, it essentially makes many characters entirely useless. Not at all fun for those members and that we absolutely cannot allow. It needs some sort of serious drawback and conditions attached to it and an ability anywhere near this potent would require a 30 in defense.

You could accept it because it’s my only release ability and fairly unimpressive compared to most of what you’re thinking about applying for and most of what you’ve already allowed. It only offers me defense against one very specific kind of ability namely the non-solid energy based type abilities. Against something like your “I have snakes made out of blood that can kill with one prick of a fang” it wouldn’t really offer me any defense whatsoever, nor would it offer me defense against physical attacks, binding kidou that used physical objects , offensive kidou that used physical objects or against any kind of physical zan in general really. So I don’t see how it possibly makes entire characters useless, but even if it did you’ve already allowed at least one character that does exactly that by throwing spice in every damn direction imaginable that blinds and gives you burns that he can then light on fire the effects of which last for something like 10 minutes and considering that most fights don’t even last ten minutes in real time that means one hit=blindness for a whole fight.

And again I was under the impression that stats didn’t always equal potency as it did focus. You seem to be very unclear about this end of things. One minute you’re like “it indicates how much time you spend focusing on it” and then the next you’re like “It indicates how powerful you are with it.” And I don’t see how something like this would require a 30 when your fragile character you’re applying for somehow manages to render entire characters useless by simply entrapping their weapons or body-parts in solidified blood-fields or something while you stab them and then merrily skip on home while they bleed to death because of the injuries you inflicted while they were unable to remove their weapons or body-parts from the blood-dome or whatever.

I mean I’d say compared to what you’re applying for and what you’ve already allowed it sounds fairly modest.

Plus aren’t you and Maya always talking about how this isn’t really a combat based site, but most of this reviewal has been about combat based features and how what I have is somehow unfair even though it seems like you’re basically trying to render arrancar completely unable to win an actual conflict against shinigami by giving shinigami every kind of advantage imaginable. I mean they have way more kidou and abilities of every type than arrancar have “natural abilities” and then they have shikai abilities and even then shinigami have no actual limit on the number of bankai abilities they can apply for while you clearly state that arrancar are only allowed two release abilities even though your app you’re typing up clearly has 5 bankai abilities.

• The decimo should not be a vastro lorde, were saving those for 1-4 ranks. I'm not sure how the other staff feel, but I would imagine that perhaps you should be a gillian or adjuncha. Naturally making this change would make the eating arrancar in your history very unusual. Also this would mean adding some of the signature white carapace to your release.

^Again maya basically said that I could do this and even factoring that out she said that there was no difference between 2-10. Ask Shinji if you don’t believe me.

• I would imagine that your fight for decimo position would be something worthy of note.

^I wasn’t sure what to include or how long ago the arrancar actually unified into the Espada considering apparently you wanted them all to be struggling and skirmishing one territory to the next and only recently unified after the Primero beat all of their asses. This basically made it sound like their positions would have been decided even before the Espada were even formed.

• As a final note, a character being an inventor can cause a bit of difficultly. It just means that you'll need to run anything you make by us or use the technique forum to apply for them. We must be very careful with them as they are essentially techniques that anyone may use. Also there is the fact we have to sort of loosely adhere to the kind of technology we see in the canon. Anything significant that you use yourself will need to be added to your application.

^So one minute you’re saying arrancar can’t have any sealed abilities or anything of the sort and that a technology based release is somehow too much but then the next moment you’re telling me that I can when I apply for them? I’m getting all kinds of mixed signals here.

•Just want to say that I absolutely love the idea for the building and structures you've made, progressing throughout history the further away from the center it gets.

^Well I’m glad you liked at least one of my ideas without telling me how I did everything completely wrong because it didn’t quite fit with what you wanted for Satan.

This was a thoroughly unenjoyable process and it took me two hours just to respond to your criticisms that were “mostly small tweaks” or whatever that mostly involve me rewriting the meat of my app that took me around 6-10 hours to write, most of which I asked questions about in the first place to prevent exactly this and got no indication that what I was doing was wrong. So unless I can somehow change your mind or somehow haggle your reviewal down to lower standards I find it very unlikely I’ll be changing anything or ever RPing here.

Now you see what upsets me most is that most of the things you want me to change seem to be mostly cosmetic features that didn’t “quite” line up with exactly what you wanted me to make when one of the admins went out of their way to get me to join. And now it’s beginning to sound like what she wanted was not “me” or anything I had to offer, but just another RPer for you to mold into exactly your ideal image of cannon fodder while giving me the runaround for the majority of the time I spent working on this app by giving me answers to questions that were incorrect, unclear or otherwise too ambiguous for me to ever have any idea of what to do without having someone tell me to rewrite my entire app.

I know you told me not to take it negatively but I took it very negatively when most of this would have been preventable if the admins had a clearer idea of what they wanted in the first place, or at least how their ideas could have been misunderstood. I was also under the impression I wasn’t going to get nitpicked to death but that’s exactly what happened. Basically what happened here was lined up like below;

“So does this and this sound okay?”
Admin: “Suuuuuure it sounds all fine and dandy to me =D. I’m really excited to read your app, it sounds really good =D”
“Am I correct in assuming this and this?”
Admin: “YEP!”
“Can I do this too?”
Admin: “SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. I LIKE YOUR IDEAS =D”

Me:*applies*
You: “Rewrite your entire app until it’s exactly what I want Satan to be. Keep rewriting it too until you get it right, because we all know how ambiguous and easily misunderstood my ideas are and god only knows that if I had this many problems, with things you were already given most of an ‘okay’ for, how long this app process is actually going to take. I mean sure you’ll spend hour after hour rewriting and making revisions and so on (not even counting the amount of time it’s going to take you to respond to my posts, like the one that this mock interaction takes place in having taken you three or so hours by the time that this parenthetical note was actually written) but pfft I’m sure you enough time and patience to get nitpicked to death to go through an app process this exhausting on an RP site you were practically begged to join.”
Me: …*a hand equipped with a middle finger slowly raises itself into your field of vision*

And I’m sorry if most of this sounds incredibly impolite but originally I was angry enough to get a slightly adrenalized reaction (that managed to last for the entire time I was writing this post) that would have prompted far more three and four and five letter words.

If my terms are somehow unacceptable, I want to thank you for wasting my time on one of your sites for the third time in a row and I also want you to know that I will never be joining one of your sites ever again. You can do like you did to someone else I knew a long time ago and say that I wasted my and your time by giving up during the app process (if you want or if it’ll make you feel any better) but you’ve effectively already wasted my time by telling me to delete hours and hours of work that could have been avoided from the very beginning if any of your staff ever had a clear and easily understood idea of what they actually wanted that they then communicated to each other. Or at least if you were more flexible about what people applied for and didn’t nitpick them to death about details that weren’t quite what you wanted me to use my telepathic powers to glean from your mind from a thousand miles away.

All it really sounds like is that you didn’t want me to make the app that I wanted, you just wanted me to make the app that you wanted. I don’t know if I repeated myself or used incorrect grammar but I think it would be a waste of time to proofread this post that will probably be my last one on the site. Thank you.